Cancer's Impact on Families: How Therapy Helps Healing
When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, the impact extends far beyond just the patient. Paola Ortiz M.A., LMFT, a therapist who is a part of the Flatwater provider network, has worked with countless families affected by cancer and has witnessed the profound ripple effects it has on relationships, family dynamics, and individual identities.
Paola emphasizes that cancer doesn’t just disrupt one person’s life—it reshapes the entire family system. As a therapist, she has seen the emotional impact shift between family members, leaving them struggling to process their feelings while supporting their loved one. Paola also knows that therapy is a vital resource to help families heal and grow stronger.
How Cancer Reshapes Family Life
Paola shared how a cancer diagnosis often changes the roles within a family. The emotional impact and practical challenges don’t just fall on the patient but also on their spouse, children, and other loved ones.
“I’ve worked with families who have lost a loved one to cancer and it’s heartbreaking to see how everyone’s roles change,” Paola says. “A spouse suddenly becomes a caregiver while also trying to manage the household and take care of the kids. Children often feel the loss of a parent deeply and may struggle with feelings of abandonment, guilt, or confusion.”
One example Paola shared involved a parent who was grieving the death of their partner while also trying to raise their children alone. This shift in parental responsibilities was overwhelming and the parent felt consumed by the grief of their loss. “It’s not just the death of a spouse—it’s the realization that they have to continue raising their kids without their partner,” Paola explains.
In these situations, family members often feel guilty or selfish for their own emotions because they believe their focus should be on supporting the patient. Paola stresses that therapy provides a safe space for these family members to process their emotions without fear of burdening someone else.
Benefits of Therapy for Cancer Families
Paola explains that therapy helps families navigate these difficult transitions by offering a space for honest conversations, grief work, and emotional healing. Therapy offers families the chance to:
Process Complex Emotions: Family members need a space where they can express their feelings without the need to comfort someone else. Therapy provides that outlet.
Strengthen Relationships: Navigating shifting roles and responsibilities can create tension. A therapist can work with families to improve communication and rebuild connections that may have been strained.
Work Through Anticipatory Grief: In the wake of a terminal diagnosis, people often experience “anticipatory grief,” or grieving that happens before death in anticipation of significant loss. A therapist can help process this experience and the guilt and distress it brings to the family.
Grieving Over Time: The effects of loss don’t fade after the funeral. Therapy gives families an ongoing place to grieve and process their emotions as they continue to adjust to their new reality.
Finding the Right Mental Health Support
Paola also emphasized the importance of finding the right therapist. She encourages families to seek resources like Open Path, Latinx Therapy, and Inclusive Therapists, which can connect people with providers who understand their unique needs. She also encourages families to ask about a therapist’s approach, experience, and payment options.
“If you’re looking for therapy, don’t be afraid to ask questions,” Paola advises. “Make sure the therapist is the right fit for your needs, values, and budget. Therapy is a powerful tool, but it’s important to find someone you feel comfortable with.”
From Ripples to Flatwater
The ripple effects of cancer can feel overwhelming for families, but Paola’s work with Flatwater highlights how therapy can be a powerful tool for healing. Whether it’s providing a space to process complex emotions, helping relationships heal, or supporting ongoing grief work, therapy can help families navigate the challenges that come with a cancer diagnosis.
If you or a loved one is facing cancer, remember that therapy is a resource that can support the entire family—not just the patient. By reaching out to organizations like Flatwater or exploring other local resources, you can find the support you need to heal and face the future together.
