A NEW YEAR WITHOUT RESOLUTIONS
A new year has a way of showing up with expectations. Everywhere you look, there are messages about fresh starts, clean slates, and becoming a better version of yourself. And yet, for many navigating cancer, the beginning of a new year doesn’t feel clean or clear at all. Instead, it can feel crowded inside.
You might feel deeply grateful that you are here or that your loved one is here and also unexpectedly angry about what cancer took from you or them. There might be hope about what’s ahead while simultaneously fearing planning too far into the future. These emotions can exist at the same time, and often without notice. And if that’s where you are right now, it’s important to know this - nothing is wrong with you.
Dealing with cancer is not emotionally tidy. The start of a new year doesn’t erase what bodies and minds have been through.
Why the New Year Can Feel So Complicated
Culturally, January is framed as a reset. We’re encouraged to “move on,” “reset,” and “start fresh.” But cancer doesn’t follow the calendar. Your nervous system doesn’t recognize December 31st as a finish line. Loss, fear, and adaptation don’t dissolve because the year changes.
For those dealing with a cancer diagnosis, a new year can amplify this emotional contradiction. Fear, fatigue, and grief may be ever-present in your day-to-day life, while the world is celebrating forward motion. This can feel isolating because the space between how things may look on the outside and how they feel on the inside can be quite vast. While that space can be painful, it’s also very human.
The Complexity of Experienced Emotions
Gratitude can be real and meaningful. Gratitude for survival. Gratitude for supportive people. Gratitude for moments that feel ordinary again. Gratitude does not require silence about loss; however. It doesn’t obligate cheerfulness, and it doesn’t mean you owe anyone a positive outlook. There can be thankfulness for being alive and mourning for the version of life before cancer. These emotions can exist at the same time without invalidating each other.
Anger can be a difficult emotion to admit to because there can be pressure to minimize it so one doesn’t appear to be ungrateful. But anger makes sense. Cancer disrupts lives without consent. It changes bodies, identities, relationships, and plans. Anger can be a response to loss, injustice, or exhaustion. Feeling angry doesn’t mean you are stuck or bitter. It means you are responding to something that mattered.
Hope can be gentle and cautious. Hope might look like getting through the next appointment, a good night’s sleep, or a stretch of days without intrusive fear. Hope does not have to be inspirational or public. You don’t need to “believe everything happens for a reason.” Hope can coexist with doubt. It can change shape, it can come and go.
Fear can be a common companion at the start of a new year - especially fear of recurrence, scans, or uncertainty about the future. While it may feel instinctive to push fear away, naming fear can reduce its intensity and make it more manageable. Fear doesn’t mean you lack faith or strength. It means you’ve lived through something that taught your body to be alert. This fear can exist alongside hope without canceling it out.
You Don’t Have to Choose Just One Feeling
There’s a myth that emotional health means clarity - one dominant feeling that defines where you are. The reality is that emotional complexity is a sign of integration. You can be grateful and grieving. Hopeful and afraid. Relieved and angry. You are holding multiple truths at the same time because your experience was complex.
What This Means for the Year Ahead
This year doesn’t have to be about transformation or clarity. It can be about truth. About meeting yourself where you are - without judgment or pressure to arrive somewhere else.
Rather than asking yourself how you’re supposed to feel this year, it may help to ask a gentler question: What feelings am I allowed to have?
You might give yourself permission to:
Feel differently from day to day
Avoid big resolutions
Take breaks from optimism
Be honest without explaining yourself
You can move into this year carrying gratitude, anger, hope, and fear together. You can welcome a new year without feeling ready for it. You can take things one moment at a time.
Flatwater is honored to have been a resource for our Central Texas community since 2010. This year is no different - we are here to support those seeking access to mental health therapy services for navigating the challenges that come with a cancer diagnosis.
